QuiteFrank News with a reality check.

Curling: Still shit

The Scotsman, the Johnston Press propaganda machine, has reported that Curling is "cool" following a feature in a forthcoming episode of had-its-day cartoon The Simpsons.

Now, I'll pause whilst you stop laughing...

Now, let's be Quite Frank on this, shall we?

1. Why is the Scotsman reporting such a fluff story?

2. Who proof-reads for the Scotsman? - "a staring role in The Simpsons"???

3. Curling will never be cool.

Bananas in pyjamas are bringing down Tesco

We've all been there - rough night out, open the fridge to find there's no milk, nip down to Tesco in your best Spiderman pyjamas...no, hang on...who the hell does that?  The local idiots in Cardiff seemingly!

The Mirror and various others have reported that those nasty, no-fun, killjoys Tesco have banned people from shopping in their pyjamas.  Let's be Quite Frank on this - if you're too lazy to get dressed to do some shopping then you are clearly a sloth.  How much effort is it to stick on jeans and a t-shirt?

"Another mum, who did not wish to be named, said: 'This is pathetic and shows how snobbish people can be. Do they have any idea how difficult it is to get three kids off to school when you are a single parent? You haven't got time for a cup of tea, never mind getting all dolled up. I won't be bothering with Tesco any more - I'm off to Aldi.'"

Question is, why is she trying to take her kids to school and shop in Tesco at the same time?  Is Tesco doing a new range in primary schools?  Curious why this mother was so coy about revealing her name - YOU WALK AROUND TESCO IN YOUR JIMJAMS!

Last night an iPhone saved my life

Story from Mashable (also covered by various others, of course) about this guy who was caught up in the Haiti earthquake and saved himself using his iPhone.

So this chap is trapped after the building he's in has fallen to bits.  Thinking fast he pulls out his trusty iPhone Digital SLR and takes photos so he can work out where he is.  Spotting an elevator he drags himself inside (because a metal box held up by metal cable is where you want to be after an earthquake...).  He's bleeding but fortunately he has his iPhone.  The iPhone has an app on it that tells him that to stop the bleeding he should tightly bandage the wound.  It also tells him not to go to sleep so he uses his iPhone to set an alarm to sound every 20 minutes.

Right, let's be Quite Frank about this -

1. An iPhone surviving an earthquake seems fairly implausable (most don't survive a 2ft drop onto the pavement!) but this guy managed to keep an alarm going every 20 minutes for 65 hours?!  Doubtful.

2.Why is no-one claiming the Digital SLR he had saved his life?  He wouldn't be able to see the wound or find safety without it!

3. Has he never seen ER or a similar medical drama?  Surely you don't need an app to find out you should stop bleeding with a tight bandage?

Well done to the guy for surviving though.  I'm just waiting on the news story about the guy pulled out 2 days ago who survived for so long by drinking Coke.